I have had a Lionel Ritchie song stuck in my head all day.

Hello.

I had a lovely, lazy Sunday--complete with shoe shopping (no purchases were made, though several ridiculous pairs were tried on), a 6-mile bike ride at sunset (I'm so romantic... I was also completely alone), cleaning out my car, and relaxing at home.

My dinner tonight was particularly delicious, and came nearly completely from my parent's vegetable garden: roasted squash and green beans, seasoned roasted potatoes, and baked fish. The fish was clearly not from the garden. If I had been around on a different day it might very well have come from my father's fishing pole, but today it came from the grocery store. Also, I was all about the roasting today. Good stuff.

Now I shall proceed to bed so that I can wake up at 3:45 a.m. to drive my roommates to the airport. They are lucky I love them so.

Also.

Ever shown up to an outdoor showing of "The Princess Bride" that was supposed to be a pajama party and discovered you and your pal were the only people wearing pajamas? ... Yeah, me neither.



Also, I got a new job. I've been promoted within my company to a way more kickass position. It's more money, less hours, same benefits, and in my current town so I won't be commuting anymore. How lucky is that?!?!?!

I kicked 16 miles in the ass.

Albeit I did so very, very slowly. Whatever--I covered 16 miles of ground today, and that's all that matters!

I've been reading a couple books about marathon running lately, seeing as how I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, and a lot of them suggest a run/walk method for beginners. Seeing as how I doubt my joints are happy about the idea of running for 26.2 miles straight, and also due to the fact that my past few long runs have led to massive headaches, I decided to try it out today. After every four miles I took a two minute walking break and made sure to hydrate really well with my Camelback. Also, I haven't been as religious as some are about using gels or what have you for refueling purposes (I know, I fail at marathon training) so today I made sure to rock the gel halfway through. Totally a huge difference! I felt great when my run ended (though exhausted) and no sign of a headache or extreme exhaustion. Clearly, I have been going about this wrong.

I used to be very hardcore about running the whole way, with no walking breaks. That was before I ran over 15 miles. I totally get the logic of it now. Plus, if someone told me they ran a marathon, but had a couple walk breaks, would I think they didn't really run it? Nope. I'd be impressed that they didn't crawl. My only goal is to finish, and I plan to do so in any way possible. I'm guessing my knees with thank me if I let them walk a couple times along the way. I'm cool with it.

I decided to take my camera with me today to document my 16 mile adventure... it turned out to be rather difficult to get the camera out of the camelbak (while still running), and also it didn't like to focus while in motion. Ah, well, I tried. Here are some photos of me (still alive!), the open road, and the desert:






Around mile 8 I stopped for the gel (as well as to pee behind a sagebrush... a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do) and attempted to take a photo of me jumping in the air (all of this happened during an approximate 2 minute break... I'm quick). What I got was one of me, looking very hardcore and in pain, so I thought it was still funny:



And then post-16 miles drinking some rejuvenating coconut water...I was trying to look peppy. Not so much. You look peppy after 16 miles and tell me how easy it is:



So there we go... 16 miles! Is it time for my nap now?

I have no f-ing idea how I'm going to add 10 miles on top of the 16 miles for the marathon, by the way. I'm really rather curious at this point.

Chicks dig unicorns.

Note the redesign. Shawna pimped us out--I love it, personally. Recently Shawna also tried to convince me that we should buy matching shirts with unicorns on them because it would make us even cooler than we already are. I didn't go for it. But I do dig unicorns.

Today I had a minor moment of insanity that went something like this:

Friend: Hello? (answering the phone)
Me: I hate running. I'm quitting. I'm going to be an Olympian Couch Potato. I'm lying in a heap of misery on the floor and I'm never moving again.
Friend: You don't hate running.
Me: Yes I do. I'm in the depths of despair.
Friend: What exactly happened?
Me: Nothing. I haven't even gone running yet today. Cause I hate it with undying passion.
Friend: No you don't.
Me: My legs are going to detach from my body because I hate running so much that they're just going to fall off.
Friend: And then someone will be able to push you around in a wheelchair. And you'll be even shorter than you already are, which will be HILARIOUS.
Me: And then I'll be like one of my clients!!!! You see, this is HORRIBLE.
Friend: You don't hate running. Go for a run, you'll feel better.

Etc, etc. That's the paraphrased version of the conversation, and quite possibly involves some misquotes to make me seem slightly more sane. I'm nothing if not dramatic. I did run 5 miles, and I did feel better. I hate it when I'm wrong.

I missed you, Blog.

Hello, Dear Reader. It is I, Shawna, your long lost writer of ridiculous and forgettable musings. I've missed you. Did you miss me, too? So, looking back at the archives, it seems I've been away from this blogging business for almost 4 months now. 4 months! Summer is almost over and I missed telling you about it, so I'm sorry.

Here is what I did this Summer:

1. Went to New York with my pal, Anne! Very awesome. I'll have to do a recap of this trip with photos, as it may have been one of the biggest adventures of my life. The highlight: 1 beer and 2 hot dogs for $4. Yes, awesome.


2. Went to the lake and floated with Leslie and others on my Island Oasis. The Oasis is my gift to the world, and two friends' birthday gift to me. It is most likely bigger than your hopes and dreams and will house a variety of beers in its meshy depths.


3. Played with babies... And kissed them and hugged them and told them that I'm their favorite auntie no matter what our lack of blood relation has to say about it.

4. Got promoted at my job. Twice. Yeah, no big deal.

Is it sad that I'm now browsing Facebook photo albums to jog my memory as to what I've been up to these past few months?

5. Oh oh! I went to a "Girls' Retreat" with my best friends that I've known forever, and we stayed out in the wilds of Central Oregon, drinking beer, splashing about in a kiddie pool, and driving golf carts around like maniacs. It was one heck of a time. Apparently this is going to be an annual event now, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. Eventually we are going to work our way up to a magical land called Greece, but that's several years of less classy (but nevertheless awesome) trips from now.


6. Attended a Michael Jackson memorial dance party with Leslie and others where we moonwalked our way through grief.

7. Tricked a friend into drinking something really disgusting. I don't know if I should elaborate, but her reaction upon knowledge of what we gave her was hilarious and AWESOME.

8. WENT TO THE COUNTY FAIR. I love the fair. It was glorious and I drank beer and looked at pigs and listened to Lady Antebellum (for free!) and rode on the spinny carousel ride which is my absolute favorite thing ever. Leslie and I also saw the lead singer from Lady Antebellum ordering nachos after the concert, but we decided against pestering her for a photo. But still it would have been pretty cool if she went on the spinny carousel with us.

And there was more more more, but I absolutely can't think straight to write when I'm so sleepy. Bye world. Nice talking to you again!

Tickets, technology and Tour de Fat...

You might be asking yourself (all three of you) how my 16-mile run went. Well, friends, I am asking myself that same question. You see, I got to Boise at approximately 11:30 p.m. and slept horribly, but got up at 4 a.m. after 3 hours of sleep to run 16 miles. It's dark outside at 4 a.m. And scary. At some point during my run I lost my pink pepper spray which is very unfortunate. I did run, and run, and run, and it was all through cement-business-downtown blah because it was too dark and scary to run on the kickass trail by the river. After 8 miles my ipod fried due to my sweat (this only happens in Boise!!!) and due to sucky knee pain and general misery, I ended up quitting after about 12 miles. I suck sometimes. That's what she said. And also, you won't see any record of my 12 miles cause my ipod deleted it. That's T for technology, and how it hates me.

I don't regret not finishing, as I was supposed to do 12 this weekend and will just do my 16 instead. I was upset with myself at first, but I clearly take life too seriously and just need to relax a little. I ran 12 miles. That kicks ass.

The T for tickets comes from Friday night... on my drive over I got pulled over. Let's just say I was going too fast, didn't have my valid insurance card (WHERE did I put that thing?) and had a bike rack covering my back license plate. Hello, illegal stuff... Anyway, for some reason the cop did NOT give me a ticket!!!! I felt like the luckiest girl alive. I totally deserved a ticket, but could not afford to pay one, so I probably would have smooched that cop right then and there if I weren't afraid of the repercussions of randomly kissing cops.

Saturday was spent at Tour de Fat--a festival for Fat Tire Ale whereupon people dress up all crazy and participate in a bike parade. My fake family and I dressed up as a band of gypsies. I should mention I was completely sober. And yes, I did crash my bike. And yes, I did bleed. I fall down a lot. I told Shawna that story and she immediately googled me to see if I popped up on youtube as a random girl at Tour de Fat who fell on her face. I'm very sore and bruised from it... Turns out biking in a gypsy skirt is not as easy as it seems. All in all I biked about 5 miles between the trip there, back, and during. Add that to my run and that's 17 miles of ground I covered! I'll take it.

Some pictures of my sweet gypsy attire, along with my best pal Chelse:




So there we have it. No 16-mile run, but adventures all the same. I'm okay with how my weekend turned out. I got back last night, completely exhausted, and yet was up immediately for my run this morning... October is getting darn close!!!!

Slighty heartbroken...

Today I found out that my super awesome rockstar beagle Suzy died. Words cannot really describe how very sad I am about this. For the past few years while living in rural America, Suzy was the one thing I could always count on--she was always up to hang out, helped me meet all my neighbors, was available to eat intruders when necessary, and was awesome at snuggling. For the past four months she's been living with my parents while I looked for a more permanent living situation, and last night she had a stroke and my mom had to have her put to sleep. My mom slept on the floor with her last night, took her to the vet today, and cried when the vet put her to sleep. (I asked if she held Suzy's "hand" and she said yes)

So my best pal, a crazy senile dog, is gone. It's weird how I think I was more attached to my dog than I am to some people, and it breaks my heart to know that I wasn't with her recently. Taking her for daily walks is what first helped me start losing part of the 75 pounds I've kept off, and having her with me during my recent time of crisis helped me keep myself together. I will miss her.

All dogs go to heaven, right?

47 days.

Today I counted: 47 days are left until the Portland Marathon. I realized this, and then I said, "Oh. Shit."

I feel as though I'm under-prepared, even though I'm totally not, and I have this overwhelming sense of failure lingering above my head for some reason. I blame this on recent events in my life. Clearly, I have not yet failed. I have 47 days until that might happen (ha... sarcasm).

But still... oh. shit.

Adventures of my weekend

Saturday: 15 mile run, nap, cleaning, laundry, bluegrass festival with Shawna. Turns out only elderly people listen to bluegrass... who knew? We hung with the 70 year old for awhile and discussed the surprising dreamy nature of a ponytailed guitar player. Here we are, enjoying some music:




Next we happened by a bar with another friend, did some dancing, and went home. Fun was had by all.

Sunday: Brunch with Shawna at a super sweet restaurant that promotes local, organic ingredients. A friend gave us a giftcard, so we rocked the free food today. Check out my kickass bloody mary and my delicious breakfast:





Oh I forgot to mention we found a Barack Obama mask at one point (yes, Barack, we can).

The thing about the restaurant was, it took forever to get in and so they gave me a bloody mary on an empty stomach. Next thing I knew, I was a wee bit tipsy at 11:30 on a Sunday. Oops. My breakfast was poached eggs on top of a corn cake with green chilies, jalepenos, avocado, and other deliciousness, along with a side of corn crusted tomatoes. Shawna had salmon eggs benedict. Also, we ordered a side of gravy. What can I say, we heard they had good gravy!

As Shawna said, gravy makes the world taste better.

Ow.

15 miles. That's right, I kicked 15 miles in the ass. Really those 15 miles kicked me in the ass, but I like to sound tough so I'll say it's the other way around. It was just me, the open road, Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears... oh and my frickin sweet Camelbak that I bought yesterday!!!

I'd been having some difficulties figuring out how to hydrate properly. My solution? Camelbak. On sale, holds 50 ounces of water, and makes me look absolutely ridiculous as I run down the road with a backpack of water strapped to me. However, it keeps me from not dying, which is always a plus. Pictures will most likely follow at some point cause it is damn funny stuff.

For some reason, 15 miles was way more painful than 14 last weekend. Most likely because I made the following mistakes:

1. Eating crap yesterday instead of real, healthy foods. Nachos, you are not my friend.
2. Not drinking enough water yesterday.
3. Waiting until nearly 8 a.m. to start running... I live in the desert, and it's been moderately cool, but a departure time of 5 or 6 a.m. would have been much more preferable. The whole time I was saying to myself, "It's hot outside, dumbass."
4. Running alongside a road that was pretty quiet, but instead discovering that breathing in car exhaust is not so much fun. Next weekend it is definitely back to the quiet country roads.
5. Starting out too quickly and wearing myself out. At one point the Nike+ said I was running an 8:18 mile. WTF? Clearly, it was malfunctioning. Also, clearly I am an idiot cause the rest of the run I was lucky to break 12:00 miles... Ah, speed, I miss you so...
6. Whatever I did to earn a blister the size of China on my big toe. That was a seriously bad idea. I have no idea how it happened, but ouch.

Lessons learned... We shall see how 16 goes next weekend. At least if I'm in pain, I'll look freaking awesome with my Camelbak/Nike+ arm band combo. Excellent.

What's up, 300 miles?

I meant to write something on here yesterday, really I did, but then I got distracted by a board game with my roommates. I'm actually serious, that's what happened. I am just that cool.

Anyway, yesterday I went for a lovely little jaunt and hit the 300 mile mark on my Nike+, fully expecting to hear Lance Armstrong congratulate me at the end and tell me I hit 300 miles, but noooo.... Now that I'm thinking about it, he must have congratulated me at 250 so that means he'll be back at 500 miles. Only 200 miles to go! I ended my run by slowing to a walk outside my house and going, "Damn you, Lance Armstrong!"

Now I'm going to go run again. It seems that's all I do lately. Today is just a quick 3 mile jaunt which I shall accomplish this morning because I have plans tonight. I thought my toenails were turning black and going to fall off, but then I took off the pink toenail polish and discovered that a couple are just sore but show no sign of blackness. I find this strangely disappointing.

Happy Thursday!

Shot down...

Yesterday while out on a picnic adventure, Shawna turned to me and said, "It looks like you're about to pop the question." I replied, "Shawna, we've known each other a long time now..." But she told me she didn't want to ruin it and we should keep it casual. Alas, my poor heart! Haha, anyway, a recap of my weekend:

1. Ran 14 miles. Did not die. A highlight, really.
2. Had coffee with former intern, then ran into people I knew from my newspaper days. Odd. Also, purchased gypsy costume materials for upcoming festival of beer and silliness.
3. Rowed a boat across a lake, and discovered that rowing is awesome.
4. Saw "500 Days of Summer" (awesome) and "Julie & Julia" (also awesome) with my fake boyfriend Shawna, and proceeded to go on a picnic adventure in the park whereupon we commented on the fact that we frequently go on dates together recently. Hey, at least I've got someone, am I right? We had a lovely picnic, as shown below:






The two swans caused me to exclaim, "This is like the freaking Notebook!" Ah, romance. We also contemplated life:




I'm still confused. All in all, a fun time was had. I'm glad that if I don't have anyone to actually date I have Shawna to hang out with me and be silly. And crazy amounts of awesome. Also, to eat cream puffs.

You might be noticing (all two of you... hi, sisters) that my Mini Leslie is sporting a one mile run--and I will have you know that should actually be a three mile run, but my Nike+ HATES me. It froze mid run but didn't tell me it froze! Why, I ask you, would it choose to do this? I am at a loss. Regardless, it is lying to you. I know the truth, and so do you, Nike+!

I feel as though I'm getting back into the swing of things--it's a different life than I was leading, but it is new and exciting and I should appreciate that. Also, I'm going to run that freaking marathon if it kills me, damn it. It's do-able. Moping around the house is boring after awhile.

Shawna and I were contemplating documenting our efforts to try a whole bunch of new things. Any ideas?

Oh yeah, I did.

That's right, I ran 14 miles today. That's officially the farthest I've ever run. And I did not die. Banner day!!!!

Around mile 12 I saw an elderly couple walking their dog, and they proceeded to stop and cheer me on. It was kind of adorable, and definitely sweet of them. Also, it motivated me to keep running and not die. I like that.

Today I went out for coffee with my former intern from my journalist days (hello, long lost career that ended when someone tried to kill me) and we had a lovely time. Now I shall proceed to hang out with Shawna so that I do not spend another Saturday evening at home cleaning house. Ah, weekends.

Adventures still to ensue this summer:

1. Double feature at the movies: 500 Days of Summer and Julie & Julia. Awesomeness to be viewed followed by a picnic atop a butte with Shawna, as we clearly should have romantic friend dates cause it is not weird at all.

2. Camping at a blue grass festival. Need I say more?

3. Tour de Fat. Beers. Bicycles. Old pals. Basically an excellent combo.

4. Lake trips and future floating trips. Oh, joy.

5. The planning of a fantastic double birthday party (not till fall arrives, but its cool so I have to include it) in September whereupon we shall make all of our friends "suit up!"

6. Marathon training. Lots, and lots of running.

Holy abs...

We had the most crazy, fantastic, glorious lightning storm Sunday night... As such, I'm super glad I didn't go for a run. That could have ended badly. It also kept me up late since the lightning made our house like daylight and the thunder made my bed shake each time I fell asleep. I'm working an earlier shift all week, so a Monday morning run was a no-go... Due to the fact that it's 12 million degrees outside, I turned to my old nemesis on Monday evening: the treadmill.

There's a gym near my house that sells pass packages for classes and whatnot, and I still have a couple that I haven't used (others have been devoted to zumba and hula hooping. I'm cool, I know). I hit the treadmill first and did 4 miles of hill intervals that kicked me right in the butt. Then I had the brilliant idea to go to an abs class.

Ouch. I can't laugh without pain today. That tiny, blonde instructor did not mess around.

Today I got up super early and ran in the dark. You'll notice that I haven't been using my Nike plus, cause I think it peer pressures me to run faster. I blame Lance Armstrong, cause when he doesn't talk to me at the end of a run it makes me sad. I'll sound crazy to those who don't use a Nike plus, I'm sure.

Also, I went to get gelato with Shawna today while wearing a fitness challenge t-shirt from my old job. I like to appreciate the irony in such situations. And that is my random post that says, "Hello, I like to pretend I actually update my blog sometimes."

Well, damn.

I probably shouldn't go for a 12-mile run when there are severe thunderstorm warnings, huh? Yesterday Shawna and I got caught in a freak storm and were saturated within ten seconds... I'm thinking I'll have to postpone, darn it.

Damn you, weather...

Reality check

I seem to be forgetting what is important to me in life, or at least why it is important. Therefore, I have decided to assemble the following lists in order to kick myself in the ass:

Reasons why I want to run a marathon on October 5:
1. Because I can.
2. Because I never thought I would.
3. Because it seems like a kickass life accomplishment.
4. Because training for it will improve my general health and well being.
5. Because I love to run.
6. Because I already paid the entrance fee.
7. Because being signed up for an event like this will counteract my usual procrastinating ways (even though they haven't quite done so yet).

Reasons why I am awesome and should cheer the f--- up lately:
1. I am going to run a marathon.
2. I just ate a delicious turkey burger.
3. I am gainfully employed and not homeless.
4. I am a strong, independent woman and I do not need a man to complete me.
5. I love summer and the gloriousness that comes with it.

In other news, I have not been doing much other than working and trying to be productive. Last night I babysat my friend's four year old, who at one point said to me, "Are you fat?" I told her no, and that it wasn't nice to say things like that to people. Also, the power went out and I told her a very long story involving princesses, witches, kindoms, spells and robots so that she would go to sleep. I also cleaned for several hours. What's up, rocking Saturday night social life?