How I came to carry an epi-pen in my purse.

Things that happened in the past few days:
1. Attended a concert with Shawna, ate food that I didn't think was too weird.
2. Began having an allergic reaction to said food (we think) and decided it was appropriate to say, "Pshaw, no worries" and ice my hot pink face while leaving to go on a road trip.
3. Stayed in a motel with blood stains on the wall. Except I convinced myself they were nail polish stains.
4. Went to the ER at 5 a.m. because my eyes and throat were swelling shut. Became very, very drugged out on antihistamines.
5. Got a speeding ticket, when I wasn't speeding, on a road with no posted limited where all cars with out of state plates were getting pulled over by a cop standing by his car and waving them over with his hand. $144 later, I said very bad words about that cop.
6. Went camping, but forgot chairs, cups, and basically everything but the tent.
7. Stroked Tim McGraw's leg, held his hand, and attempted to grab his butt. If only I were a few inches taller.

Worth it.

5 months later

I forgot I had a blog for 5 months. Meh, it happens.

Things that have happened in the past 5 months:
1. I gained 3,000,000 pounds (or what feels like it), leading me to begin seeing a naturopath, so that I could say, "Dude, what the heck?" and decide that my hippie-ish parents have more of an affect on me than I thought due to my inclination to see a naturopath when my doctor wants to put me on all kinds of pills. I don't want to take all kinds of pills, I just want to not feel like crap all the time, is that so much to ask? Can't herbs do that, or naps, or something?

2. Found out my thryoid is whack (I hate you, thyroid) and considered selling it on craigslist. Began taking medicine so said thyroid would behave. Considered hugging my naturopath, cause she kicks ass, but decided that would be weird.

3. Found out I am allergic to everything worth eating (wheat, eggs, whey... lima beans). Wondered how a person even becomes allergic to lima beans, and how weird I have to be to be allergic to lima beans.

4. Quit eating forementioned items of deliciousness, and discovered that I can now breathe, digestive problems are no longer, and I am not really supposed to constantly be tired and crazy. Thank you, food allergy test. Decided as a result that food allergies aren't really that bad...but I will still miss beer.

5. Started running again, seeing as how I can breathe now, and discovered it's a lot easier when there is a consistent oxygen flow. Felt as though I am starting over, but at least I'm starting, right?

6. Began a "bootcamp" with my neighbor, but since we're poor and don't want to spend craptons of money, formed our own bootcamp in our courtyard. Cars like to honk at us, cause we live on a busy road. Oh well.

7. Went fishing, caught 5 fish, but only got one actually out of the water and safely in my freezer. Fish are tricky.

8. Rode my bike to work and successfully navigated two roundabouts without dying. I have grand plans of riding my bike to work during warmer months, but am rather terrified of cars running over me.

That's about it.