We are creepy neighbors.

The other day Leslie's sister and I were sitting in the living room and, lucky for us, our wide blinds are positioned just right for one-way neighbor spying. We were ogling the tattooed neighbor boy as he tied his shoes on his front stoop and did other neighborish things. I knew that he was moving, and as I just looked out the front window to spy on him again I noticed that all of his things are gone from his apartment. This is a sad, sad day for me.

Picture this...

So there I am, in all my birthday glory, looking really fabulous in my suit, having a great time with my sister and handsome new boyfriend, and laughing with all my pals. I look particularly lovely and my ass is smaller than normal due to the fact that I'm going to run a marathon on Sunday (vomit--so nervous).

And now, please, imagine having the ex-douchebag boy that created all sorts of havoc in my life in the same bar. I didn't know about this until today, but apparently I got some super awesome secret revenge by ignoring the fact that he was even there. That's probably because I didn't know about it.

Rock. on.

An excellent evening of cheese and paint.

Tonight Leslie, our friend Anne, and I all had a wonderful evening beginning with us cooking a gourmet meal of macaroni and cheese (with peas, bacon, mozzarella cheese, and puffy Cheetos added in) and another cheesy twisty pasta. Following that we went and bought Nutella, cream slushies from Sonics, and a bargain pack of canvasses that Leslie proceeded to paint a large banana on when we got back to our apartment. It was rather odd and creepy.

What a glorious evening in our new place! What adventurous souls we are.

Haircuts for everyone!

I'm getting a haircut tonight! Yay yay yay! I've been on the internet looking at styles I like, and I usually end up getting a similar bob. I know I'm boring, but I can't help thinking that these are the cutest haircuts in the world:
I'm going to feel like a brand spanking new woman in my new extremely Parisian apartment with Leslie.

Birthday adventures.

My day started with moving into a new apartment with Shawna (new roomies!):



It ended with a "SUIT UP!" birthday party adventure... Explanation to follow at a later date when I have internet again:

Cheater cheater, bacon eater.

So, I know the date on this post is saying Sunday, the 27th, but it's really only the 26th at 12:33pm. I'm cheating at my post a day, because I know I will most likely not have access to a computer tomorrow, so whatever.

At this simulated time and I am waking up from a ridiculous night of frolicking with friends and drinking too much beer, and I have a backache from sleeping on my stupid air mattress. Sucks to be me. I am also waiting for my parents to arrive with my furniture.

When they do arrive they are frantic because there is nowhere to park and are therefore making me stressed out. Finally after much cursing they settle in and my friends and I do the heavy lifting as my parents are rather old. I mean wise! Did I say wise?

Finally we are done and we celebrate Leslie's actual 25th birthday by going grocery shopping, buying cupcakes, and riding our bikes around the park several times until we are so exhausted that we topple into the river and drown. The end.

Banned books week!

Also, I forgot to mention that this is the first day of banned books week, and it runs until October 3rd! Check out this shocking map to see which books are currently being challenged in this day and age in the United States.

What are you going to read to protest the suppression of glorious, glorious words? I'm finally going to read "Catcher in the Rye" since I know I've most likely been missing out all these years, and I also have the urge to read some "Wicked" or "Dangerous Angels." Happy Banned Books Week everyone!

The countdown begins...

4.5 hours until I get off work, head to our new apartment, and embark on great adventures for Leslie's and another friend's suit-up birthday party extravaganza tonight downtown! It's also Octoberfest today and we are going to hit that up later, and maybe spread a little suited chickendance cheer around the block. Did I ever let any of you know what I'm suiting up as tonight? I can't recall. Well, let it be a surprise for the pictures to come whenever I can get internet access for my computer to upload photos!

On a side note: I just called Leslie and she said she couldn't speak because her father had back his truck right up onto the front lawn and to the door so they need to unpack quickly. I think this is awesome. Also, Leslie met our new neighbors. I bet they think we are pretty stinking cool and will stoop sit with us soon.

I hate packing for a weekend trip.

Packing to move to another town is obviously more exhausting. Leslie's right, we won't have internet for a week so we may be scarce around here. Hopefully by the end of that week our apartment will rock out with impressiveness and unicorn magic. Until then I'm just going to have to sneak a blog post in during my lunch breaks.

GOODNIGHT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Moving.

Need bacon for fuel. And glitter. And internet so I can blog.

You may see a startling lack of activity from me in upcoming days, as we won't have internet for week.

Sleep.

I'm so boring. Seriously. All I do is work, sleep, run, eat, work. And not in that order.

Someday, I'll be a good blogger.

Soo...

Today I wore plastic fangs and flung a squishy rubber bug across the workroom. I love my job.

We can't go to Applebee's every night, Kim. We're not billionaires!

Tonight Leslie and I enjoyed an extravaganza of $5 bargains.
We went to Applebee's and ate the Surf 'N Turf burger and fries for 5 bucks!
We also went shopping and bought a sparkly pineapple welcome mat for our front stoop. Excellent.
My motto is that anything worth buying is usually $5. Fact.

Anything is better with glitter.

I decided to let a new boy stick around for awhile, despite my best intentions and tendency to keep people at arm's length...and he has proceeded to impress me by getting me a birthday card with glitter and cupcakes on it, and enclosing a gift card for coffee.

Clearly the boy knows my priorities.

In two days I will no longer be homeless, and probably Shawna and I will need to decorate the whole house with glitter and loveliness so that I enjoy having a home again (renting a room is not the same).

In four days I will be 25, and that feels very old, but probably only because inside I am 80 years old.

In one week and four days I will be done with a marathon (I hope) and feel very tired and accomplished.

Right now, I am going to take a nap.

Okay, okay.

So, it's officially the first day of Autumn. I've been pre-embracing the autumness of the world already. Soo, that's all. Goodnight.

Sleeeeeepy.

Exhausting day. Coworker walked out and quit without notice, and I leave as of next week to start my new job (woo!) so I have to figure out how to train two new people as soon as they can get them hired. Yeah.

I was considering ways in which my body has changed throughout marathon training this morning. I have come up with the following:

1. More blisters.
2. More calluses.
3. Suddenly capable of super human feats like running 20 miles.
4. Oddly colored toenails.
5. Increased awareness of muscles that I did not know existed.
6. Appearance super sweet running sock and camel back tan lines.

Things that have not changed:
1. The relative size of my ass.
2. My inexplicable desire to finish a marathon.

Please note that I have officially finished my last double digit run until the marathon itself. Totally pumped. I ran 4 miles this morning and my ipod was as good as new! Amazing what $10 will fix.

Really?

Discovery of the night: my ipod is not broken. My headphones, however, are a problem and cost $10 to replace.

I now hear the sounds of glorious music again.

I really wish I had found this out before I completed a 20 mile run.

Damn.

Craigslist is magical.

Leslie and I have been scouring the depths of Craigslist to find interesting furniture for our new apartment, and today I may have come across the most fabulous item in existence:

A vintage surgical table! Wouldn't this make the most perfect desk or surface for an impromptu brain surgery?

Nothing very interesting happened today.

I ate potato latkes from a box.
I kissed my dog's nose.
I watched 47,000 episodes of "Friday Night Lights."
I packed my movies into two boxes in 1.5 hours.

Yep, that's about it.

Oh, packing...

After the fun of yesterday (my knee is a million times better, by the way, and my run was lovely) I have to spend today packing some of my belongings into my car in preparation to move into a super cute new apartment with my new roommate Shawna next week.

My stuff is still being stored at my parent's house (cheapest storage facility in town!) and I realized yesterday that I've been transitional so long that I actually don't remember what the heck I own.

It will be nice to have a home again, I think.

Okay, off to kick some moving ass...

¡Fiesta!

I've been making a lot of lists lately it seems. Why stop now?

Tonight I attended a co-worker's fiesta birthday party! Excellent!

She fed me the following:
1. Rice
2. Beans
3. MEAT
4. Strawberry cake
5. Flan
6. A pineapple drink and some other drink I can't pronounce
7. Good tequila out of a bottle shaped like a tree stump (and actually made in a town called Tequila!)

I also danced to many a song in Spanish with even more co-workers. We entertained the masses with such moves as the "dog paddle," "the penguin dance," and even our own renditions of the Carlton dance. Fun was had by all!

Weekend.

Things I have accomplished so far this weekend:

1. 12 mile run
2. Bonding time with parents
3. Basset Hound cuddling
4. Quality time with best pals
5. BBQ extravaganza
6. Treasure hunt in the cleaning aisle for mythical cleaning product
7. Garden harvesting
8. Fake birthday celebration (it's next week)
9. Zombie repellent installation
10. Football watching
11. Marathon playlist creating

And to think, it's only Saturday

Blue and gold!

Interesting things that happened at my old high school's football game this evening:

1. The sprinklers came on in the 4th quarter and nobody knew how to turn them off.
2. A cheerleader named Dwayne or something doing the best high kicks I've ever seen.
3. A baby throwing her juice bottle under the very tall bleachers and making her father crawl around under there for it.
5. Singing the school fight song when our team finally made a touchdown and got points. The game ended with us 8 points to the other team's 36 or so.
6. Observing the teenagers today in their natural habitat. Weird. Really, why are tapered jeans the shiznit?
7. I don't know, I'm tired as always. Nighty night!

Sleep is good.

I just drove 13 million hours to get to my parent's house to spend the weekend with them. So. tired.

Shawna and I paid a deposit on our new apartment today!

Also, I nearly ran over what I am almost sure was an armadillo on the way here. My sister claims that they do not have armadillos in rural Oregon. That is because she has no imagination.

Sleeping time.

Cleaning!

I was going to blog, really I was, but you see I'm still resting the old knee, and then I realized I need to clean the whole house as my roommates come back from a 3-week vacation today and I don't want them to judge me.

Shawna and I went and looked at the most adorable apartment today, and I very much hope it will be ours.

The Office is on in 4 minutes!

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!

I've been longing for you all summer.

Oh poop.

I suck at blogging every day. Today is day 3 of my 6 day work schedule this week. I am tired. I just want it to be Sunday already so I can bake and read and watch the leaves turn orange on that one tree in my backyard.

Leslie and I and a couple of my co-workers went to a halfway to St. Patrick's Day celebration tonight, listened to some bluegrass, and did a jig or two. Still not sure why the bar scheduled this event on the 16th when St. Patrick's Day is on March 17th. Weird.

Going to bed now. Maybe the zombies did get me the other night. I've felt like one myself these past few days.

Sunny side of life: Season premiere of "The Office" tomorrow night! Woohoo!

I would very much like to be running 8 miles right now.

Instead I am sitting at home, eating spaghetti squash with turkey and spinach and tomato sauce (weird and yet delicious combo) and blogging. Totally the same amount of physical exertion.

This is me being smart. This is me knowing that my body needs a break, as my knee was incredibly sore after my 20 mile run and did not like my attempts at running yesterday.

Remember all those other times I ignored super sore parts of my body and ended up injuring the crap out of myself and having to take several weeks off running? This is my attempt at having that not happen. I'm exceptionally frustrated and hate taking breaks and hate resting when I know I should be running 8 miles. In the long run, I think this will be a better idea though.

I can and will run a marathon in two weeks... right?

Ice packs are my friends.

Why?

My nose won't stop dripping.
The throat won't stop itching.
My eyes won't stop closing.

I drank a pumpkin spice frappacino today. It was delicious and made me want to bake pies. Perhaps I should do that on Sunday while watching Pushing Daisies episodes? Mmmm. YAY FALL!

Am I really running a marathon in two and a half weeks?

Really? Where do I come up with these ideas.

I'm off to run 5 miles and then watch the premiere of the Biggest Loser with two pals and their mom. Yes, yes I am that awesome.

Someday I'll write way more on here, I swear. I miss you, blog.

I usually do not work on Mondays.

Mondays suck. Patrick Swayze dies on Mondays.

I'm going to bed now to escape you, evil evil Monday.

Holy bike ride time...

Earlier this month I updated my facebook status to say, "You know how people say you won't be given more than you can handle? I think those people should be punched in the face."

Fact.

At least my brain wasn't eaten by zombies.

Okay, I'm just going to tell it like it is: Last night I totally sleepwalked to a cemetery and woke up with no shoes or glasses on and no idea how to get back. I am not kidding. This is how ridiculous my life is.

The wedding crashing went fine and, yeah, I had a few drinks, but I will not let the alcohol be to blame for the situation last night. After my friends and I got back to our campsite at the county fairgrounds, I headed to bed because I was exhausted. (Apparently my tentmates went to bed after I fell asleep, and I was still there.) This is the last thing I remember until I'm guessing 3am when I became aware of myself surrounded by headstones in a cemetery with sore, naked feet. Do I really need to tell you that THIS WAS SCARY.

How the heck did I end up there a half-mile away from the campsite without any shoes? After wandering about for a bit in shock I walked through the headstones to some buildings I saw nearby hoping that there would be people there who could help me find my way back, but alas they were only storage sheds. I walked back out to the highway, and screamed my friends' names at the top of my lung hoping that I was near enough so that they could hear me. Nope.

I had a decision to make: Which way should I head? I decided and set off on a slow and painful path down the abnormally bumpy and sharp road praying that I would find a house to ask for help at. After walking and walking I came upon a house with lights on, and as I was about to walk up the pathway and beg for a ride, I saw my tent down the way and thanked God that I hadn't died trying to find it.

When I got back, I woke my friends to tell them of my horrible ordeal and they hadn't even realized I'd left the tent. I hugged and hugged my friend and she finally believed me when I wouldn't shut up and was obviously traumatized.

So, yes, I am still pretty much in shock about this and my feet hurt like hell. Suffice it to say I HATE SLEEPWALKING. But at least zombies didn't feast on my brain last night, so it could have been worse.

20 miles: all downhill from here!

I am so excited to be done with the 20 mile run. Hello, tapering... 12 miles next weekend sounds like the most glorious thing ever. I have no idea how the full 26.2 will go on October 4, but there's only one way to find out, right?

I was literally out the door yesterday, on my way to run, when I realized my ipod is totally and completely fried. I was also completely exhausted as I had slept on the couch (my sister was over and I didn't want to wake her up while I was up and about on my way to run in the morning, so I made her sleep in my bed). Sleeping on the couch actually meant barely sleeping at all--so I was just so overwhelmed with frustration that I didn't go for my run yesterday. I couldn't face the thought of over 4 hours of running with absolutely nothing but nature to listen to, and for some reason I just decided to give up for the morning and go the next day.

It's all mental, and I am well aware of this. I know that physically I am capable of training for and running this marathon. But my head doesn't always agree with me. Anyway, I ended up sleeping in, and spending extra time with my sister--well worth it. We hiked up the butte next to my house, went to a local beer festival with some pals, and floated down the river. Turns out we're having a sudden heat wave, so it was nice and hot and almost like summer was still around. (At one point while floating we saw a freakish rodent creature that caused me to utter the following: "What the hell is that? Is that a muskrat? If it is, I'm officially terrified of muskrats!")

So. Today I was all by my lonesome with no other plans except for my 20 mile run. I woke up bright and early, ate some breakfast and set out--fried ipod and all. The Nike+ arm band SUCKS, by the way. It's built in such a way that it allowed my sweat to occasionally get into the ipod, and as such has created water damage. Of course, water damage is not covered by the warranty. Super. Oh well, it's gotten me through a half marathon and almost all of my marathon training so I suppose that'll have to do. Anyway, it's doing this awesome thing where I can only hear music and background vocals, and sometimes the faint hint of the actual vocals in the song.

Want to know what hell is like? It's a 20 mile run, during a heat wave, with ridiculous sunlight beating down on you, with nothing to listen to except music with no words. Try listening to a Britney Spears song like that sometime--it's music with just a lot of "oooh, ahhh, ohhh" added in. Around mile 17 I started to become slightly insane and thus found the amusement in this situation. Yeah, ipod, you can just suck it.

Anyway, about this mental thing--I'm doing this to myself. I'm frustrating myself, and worrying myself, and putting too much pressure on myself. When I first started out this morning I had terrible stomach cramps (something wasn't sitting right, who knows what...), and I felt sooooo slow. Around mile 2 I stopped to walk and almost cried with frustration because I feel like I'm not living up to the standard I have set for myself. I kept running anyway, and sang Kelly Clarkson songs to myself (since I couldn't hear her doing it), and eventually realized how ridiculous I am. Yes, I was super slow today. Yes, it was like when I only first started running and ran at the pace of a chubby turtle. But by the time I was done I realized that doesn't matter to me--all that matters is that I completed 20 miles, and did so to the best of my ability, and it was greuling and crazy and all I care about is finishing.

I'm nearly certain that I'm not even going to use my Nike+ during the marathon--I need to stop worrying about time. My goal is to finish.

I am a real life wedding crasher.

Or I will be this afternoon. I'm heading off to the wedding of a college buddy, and I wasn't invited. I feel kind of awkward about this, but I don't want to miss out on seeing him tie the knot! I'm hitching a ride with my (invited) married, baby-having friends and we are going to meet up with another couple of married pals before the wedding. Aren't I cute, sandwiched in the middle? Maybe I'm destined to forever be sitting at the kid's table. Who knows.

I'm bringing a present the couple registered for. I hope that makes my surprise attendance a little less weird. I'll let you know how it goes!

Freakishly early

It's 5:33 a.m. on a Saturday. I've been awake for approximately 45 minutes and in just a bit will be departing on a 20 mile run.

What the f is wrong with me? Saturday mornings are for sleeping. Clearly, my brain does not like to remember that.

Ah, well, there's always nap time.

The good news is that this is the longest run I will (hopefully) complete before the marathon on October 4. Here is what the remainder of my training schedule looks like:

Week 16 (next week)
Mon: 5 miles
Tues: 8 miles
Thurs: 4 miles
Sat: 12 miles

Week 17:
Mon: 4 miles
Tues: 6 miles
Thurs: 3 miles
Sat: 8 miles

Week 18:
Mon: 4 miles
Tues: 3 miles
Thurs: 2 miles

Oh, week 18, how I long for thee... This is going to be worth, it, right?

Leslie totally stole my blog post the other day.

I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT AUTUMN, LESLIE, YOU WEINER. So, I'm going to do it anyway, despite having a few items in common with you.

Favorite things about Autumn:

1. The air is cool and comfortable, unlike during Summer when I sweat like a pig (that is, if pigs actually did sweat which you guys know they don't).

2. I get to dress up in a freaking sweet costume for Halloween. This year's idea: Harriet the Spy!

3. My mom's special swirly, twirly magic dinner rolls at Thanksgiving.

4. The plan to visit Roloff Farms! Their place is actually only a few miles away from my aunt and uncle's farm, so yay!

5. Watching "Little Women" and and my favorite Halloween movie "Hocus Pocus" on repeat. Amuck, amuck, amuck!



6. Baking warm, gooey treats and filling the house with that yummy scent.

7. Riding my bike!

8. Making Kahlua. I did this last year, and I want to do it this year, as well!

9. Oktoberfest! Beer, bratwurst, lederhosen, oh my!

10. Maybe it's all the "Friday Night Lights" episodes I've been watching lately, but I really want to watch a few of my home town's football games this season. There's one next Friday!

11. A new season of "The Office" is on the way to my little television.

12. I get to buy new sweaters and tea!

13. Leaves, leaves, leaves.

Here are some more lists made about the beauty of Autumn!

A lovely evening...

So my plans for the evening originally included running 5 miles, hanging out at home, and going to sleep. They ended up evolving into way better versions of the same activities!

My younger sister didn't have weekend plans, so she drove over to hang out with me! I went for a five mile run while she rode my bicycle and kept me company (and took pictures of me looking hardcore)... please note:





I think I look more ridiculous than hardcore, possibly because each time I saw her with the camera I tried to make my ponytail look particularly bouncy.

Then we came home, ate chicken-veggie enchiladas that I made for us, and are sitting here watching a cheesy movie. Hello, Friday! :)

Big plans for tomorrow: 20 mile run, possible river float, and a short (and hopefully relatively painless after my run) hike with the sister. Happy weekend!

Sleep.

Is good. I miss it so.

This is my blog post to say, "Screw this, I am not posting today." Good night.

Words for a soon to be Autumn night

At work today I was pondering which books I should surround myself with in the Autumn months to come, as I think there could be nothing better than fresh, chilly air outside, a purple afghan, and a good book. Naturally, Halloween and Thanksgiving come to mind when I think of this favorite season of mine and those always make me desire a good book about Massachusetts and the Salem Witchcraft Trials. What could I read besides "The Crucible?" Tell me, please!

Possible books on my Fall reading list:

1. "Something Wicked This Way Comes" - Ray Bradbury (Checked out from the library today!)
2. "The Halloween Tree" - Ray Bradbury
3. "Roald Dahl's Book of Ghost Stories" - Roald Dahl
4. "Dracula" - Bram Stoker

Any more ideas for books in this most excellent of gloomy seasons?

Reasons I love Brett Dennen

So, Leslie and I went to the Brett Dennen concert on Friday evening, and the experience was even more awesome than when I saw him a couple of years ago. Why do I love him so? Let me count the ways.

1. He's so dang positive and sings things like:

If you have a broken heart or a battered soul
Find something to hold on to or to let go
To help you through the hard nights like a flask filled with hope (awesome!)
Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know

2. He dances like a somewhat slutty girl. Maybe slutty isn't the right word, but he does give off a feminine vibe while shaking his moneymaker.

3. He sticks his tongue out sometimes while playing guitar. Cute.

4. He could be Conan O'Brien's giant, red-headed brother.

5. When asked by a concert-goer if he would dance with her since it was her first concert, Brett said he didn't need that occasion to dance. "I'll dance with you at the bank. I'll dance with you at the DMV."

6. He doesn't wear shoes onstage so that he can dance and dance and dance.

I love him. And I've had the lines "I may be weary but I am not weak. I can sing a song of suffering." stuck in my head all day long.

Here are some clips I found on YouTube from the actual concert, not great, but they work.







And just 'cause I think it's funny.

Dear readers...

Due to the fact that we recently received the following e-mail, a disclaimer is clearly necessary:

Leslie and Shawna,
I saw your site and was wondering if either of you own any spandex pants and if you do if you would be interested in selling them? Please get back to me!
~JTB

Ha. Awesome. I admire your spunk, JTB, and your seemingly pervy ways did bring me a chuckle, but sadly we do not have spandex pants to sell.

As a result of this little inquiry, let us all be aware of the following disclaimer:

***The writers of Pink Spandex do not want to sell you their pants. Though they have a deep love for spandex, and pink, it does not mean that they frequently wear spandex...or even own any. Buy your own pants, you pervy freaks.

That's all. Happy Thursday.

Today was a long day.

And tomorrow is going to be even longer. I can't validate writing instead of sleeping right now. Good night!

And, hey you, I'll dance with you at the DMV anytime.

10 miles of suck.

I think I actually went 12 miles tonight, I really do. My damn ipod froze again (I forgot to saran wrap it, so it was my own fault) and unless I ran freakishly slow I ran a lot more than it said I did. I really thought I learned my lesson last week, but apparently not.

Other lessons I apparently have not learned:
1. Do not drink beer with Shawna the night before a 10 mile run.
2. Do not get a late start so that while running the darkness prevails and one must use an ipod as a flashlight.
3. Do not run without saran wrapping ipod, as it will lead to a lack of music for 1.5 hours and that is really boring.
4. Do not eat junk food the day before a long run. Do not eat junk food, period, as it makes a person feel like junk.

I learned them this time. No, really, I mean it.

Apartment hunting day...

Brought upon a slew of emotions and opinions for Leslie and myself, hopping back and forth from decision to decision about the various places we saw. We are very indeciseful.

Henceforth, this blog post has evolved into the following conversation:

Shawna: (typing) ...indeciseful. Is that word?
Leslie: No. It's indecisive. But leave that, cause it's hilarious.
Shawna: Hahahahaha. (hits spell check button) I'm an idiot!
Leslie: Leave it that way, it's way funnier!

And so we bit adieu to have Brett Dennen serenade us swith his sweet, sweet babymaking music. Bye, kids!

Happy end of summer!

I'm blogging early today, as I'm afraid I might forget otherwise. Let me just be honest and tell you all that I hate Labor Day, as I love summer with undying passion and am sad when it is over. It's not until the day after labor day that I realize that I love fall just as much.

Here are the reasons why:
1. The leaves turn pretty colors.
2. Pumpking spice lattes.
3. Pomegranates!!!! (oh, delicious pomegranate/banana oatmeal, how I've missed you)
4. It's the perfect temperature for running.
5. I get older (this year apparently my car insurance will be lowered! BOO YAH!)
6. They rerun "Hocus Pocus" a lot on tv, and let's face it, that movie is awesome.
7. Corn mazes and pumpkin patches.
8. Apple cider.

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. But there is more. Fall rocks. I'm off to run 5 miles, followed by a day of adventure with Shawna. Happy Labor Day!

My Labor Day Weekend...

Is only two days long. What's that all about?

So far I've seen a dreamy boy, watched a few episodes of Friday Night Lights (awesome, btw!), played with babies, and bought a set of wooden pineapple-shaped dishes at a garage sale.

Tomorrow I am buying a wedding present, looking at an apartment with Leslie, watching "Post Grad" in the theater, and going to the Brett Dennen concert.

When can I possibly have the time to read a book, clean my room, and empty my car of the collection of grossness. The days are much too short.

18 miles: the day of mean old women

I was three miles into my run yesterday when a woman stopped her car and began screaming at me that it was hard to see me at that time of day. She was pissed. My theory is that she was also crazy--the thing of it is that I felt I was perfectly easy to see. Granted, it was just barely daylight and hard to see anything. But I was wearing a white shirt, had a reflective Camelbak strapped to me, my dorky reflective triangle thingy strapped around my waist, and was on the opposite side of the road and really far off to the side in the gravel next to the ditch. Pair all that with my ipod strapped to my arm and I looked like a reflective space alien from Planet Safety. What more did the biotch want? A spotlight shining over me? I considered saying, "Maybe it's because you're 90 and should have your license taken away" but that seemed inappropriate.

Around mile 14 two elderly women pulled over and asked for directions to the Catholic retreat. Mind you, I was in the middle of the desert, no church in sight, and am distinctly not Catholic. I finally figured out that they needed to go to a church in a tiny town nearby and sent them on their way. They were exceptionally cranky that I wasn't their personal tour guide and didn't know where their retreat was, and it wasn't until they were long gone that I realized I sent them the wrong way. Oops. They totally had it coming, I'm pretty sure. Also, they interrupted a lovely interlude whereupon I was belting out "Don't Stop Believing." Yes, sometimes I sing while I run. It probably uses too much oxygen, but it's crazy entertaining when you're in the middle of an empty desert and have been running for hours.

(Several men in suits also asked where the Catholic retreat was. Eventually people would slow down and roll down their windows and I would yell, "Catholic retreat? Turn right on the next road and it'll take you right there." Those Catholic people definitely need to invest in some signs.)

There also appeared to be sort of a Steven King-esque theme to my run. Holy roadkill. I'd be bouncing along, rocking out to Journey, and BAM! Dead bunny. Kind of unpleasant. But it definitely kept me on my toes...

All in all, it was a perfectly pleasant 18-mile run...one of my favorite runs in awhile. I think something is seriously wrong with my mental state when I use the phrases "18-mile run" and "perfectly pleasant" in the same sentence. Regardless, it was nice. It was cloudy and cool outside and it gave me lots of time to think. It took me a ridiculous amount of time, but at least it boosted my confidence a little that I might finish this marathon after all.

I followed my 18 mile run with a lunchtime margarita with the sister (blackberry!) and a trip to the auto parts store. We proved our mechanical abilities by replacing a headlight bulb all on our own. What's up, female independence?

Then I hike--four miles, uphill both ways, up the side of a mountain. I also peed in the woods, in a little nook of the forest. I'm so rugged. Please observe how outdoorsy I look:



All of this was followed by the most awkward dining experience ever. Clearly, this was not my day with old women. I was sitting in a booth, eating Chinese food and talking to a boy, and an elderly woman was seated a table near us with her back to us. I'm mid-bite into a piece of lemon chicken... and she totally lifted a cheek and let her flatulence problem be known to the entire room. The woman casually went back to eating, and her daughter acted as if nothing had happened. I, meanwhile, started laughing so hard I thought chicken was going to come out of my nose and said, "Did that just happen?" Yes, I'm a 12-year-old boy.

So. 18 miles, crazy old women, hiking, margaritas. Good weekend.

Hello, Autumn.

Holga Autumn Sky
Originally uploaded by wombatina

After work today I drove home on a winding road with my windows rolled down and my hand waving hello to the crisp, Autumn breeze. I missed this time of year which always makes me feel alive and happy to greet the new day. I missed you, beautiful Autumn. Let's have some fun.

18 miles: yeah I did.

I have many interesting tales from my 18 mile run today (it was a freakishly long event in my life) but they will have to wait--I have a margarita date with my sister and I'm extremely behind. Gotta hit the road!

But look, here is proof... See that big dip? That's called a huge hill kicking my ass:



Consider this my blog post of the day that essentially tells you that I don't have anything to post. You're welcome. Recap of my 18 miles to follow tomorrow.

Who are you betting on in the most epic battle of the century?

I'm rooting for Baron Von Broccoli as he looks very sassy and French. Captain Corndog? Seriously. You look like a fool. Get some self-respect, a decent pair of glasses, and wipe that mustard off your belly, you lazy bum.

The marathon shirt.

Tomorrow I have big plans. They involve running 18 miles, and visiting my sister. The sister and I shall go to an auto parts store together and drink margaritas. Try not to be jealous.

My roommates are gone for three weeks, so I've been spending lots of time alone. Which leaves lots of time for though. As such, I've been thinking. I need some sort of hilarious shirt to wear to the marathon--mainly so that people notice the amusement emblazoned on my chest instead of the look of horror on my face when I realize I'm running 26.2 miles (or crawling them). Any suggestions?

I found one that says, "Running: cheaper than therapy." I feel like that might be the most appropriate. I'm in a weird spot in life right now, and feel as though running really has been my therapist. Or at least has provided me a reason to leave the house other than work. Let's face it, I have either running or chocolate frosting, and occasionally chocolate frosting wins, but mostly the thought of having paid $90 to run for five hours (wtf is wrong with me?) pressures me to get my running shoes on and go. And it always makes me feel better, more alive, more capable of not freaking out and losing it entirely. Wow, I really sound like I need therapy after that sentence. I'm totally not crazy, I swear.

So yes. Hilarity. I need some.

My internet connection is being an insensitive toddler.

WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO GET MY BLOG POST UP ONTO THE INTERNET! Why?!

Blast. Now that I've finally opened up this new post to type, I totally don't have anything exciting to say. What's new really. Today I worked and worked, got tired, ate a salmon and spinach salad, and watched "17 Again" when I got home from work. Now I'm going to watch "Ballet Shoes" because I'm a movie fiend and have nothing else to do with my boring, pathetic life.

Geez, I'm negative. My retinas are burning. Positive thoughts to bring me out of a funk:

1. Tomorrow is Friday! Yay! But that's really my Thursday since I work Saturdays. Confusing, huh? Anyway, I only work 6 hours tomorrow! And 7 on Saturday, so that's not too bad for the rest of my week, I guess.

2. A dreamy boy is coming into town this weekend. Maybe I'll catch a glimpse of this mystical centaur of manliness. Too weird?

3. Leslie and I are going to a Brett Dennen concert on Monday. He's awesome! Seriously! Go check this guy out!

4. It's banned books week at the end of the month. What shall I read to rebel against The Man?

5. It's almost Autumn! My favorite season of all. It better stick around longer than a week this time, or I'm going to kick it in the crotch. I VOTE FOR ANOTHER VISIT TO THE CORN MAZE AND POSSIBLY ROLOFF FARMS FOR PUMPKIN SEASON. Leslie?

Um, yeah.

Today a friend wrote to me with a picture of an exceptionally cool product (an umbrella for a dog) and said, "You should totally buy this for your dog."

How does one respond to that? My decision was to say, "I totally would, except my dog died a few weeks ago. Hey, that's awkward."

That's literally all I have to blog about today. I've had a boring Thursday. Here's what happened:

1. Woke up.
2. Showered and got ready.
3. Ate delicious omelette.
4. Went to work. Worked. Spoke Spanish and English, and got confused cause my brain hurts when I switch from one language to another. That's how Spanglish happens. Ate lunch consisting of a delicious hummus/veggie/turkey wrap and a banana.
5. Came home. Called father to ask what he's eating for dinner while my mom is working an evening shift and told him to eat vegetables.
6. Ran 5 miles.
7. Said "Ouch."
8. Halfheartedly attempted to allow Jillian to shred me.
9. Ate delicious chicken and veggies.
10. Watched DVD's of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" while writing a blog.

The end.

Freaking electronics.

Is a pedometer even considered an electronic device? Whatever. I worked for 10 hours today, and at hour 8 I was really excited to look down and see the enormous amount of steps I'd taken today only to discover that the pedometer had reset and was at step 400-whatever. LAME. Let's call it 15,000 for the day. That seems fair.

Also, who is this Kevin Skinner fellow, and why am I not making out with him right now please? I'd totally be a chicken farmer, too, if it meant listening to him sing to me on our porch every evening.

Definitely not dead.

My Nike+ will tell you I ran 9.2 miles tonight. That bitch is lying. It decided to pause itself without telling me for awhile, which mean I ran 10 miles when I meant to run 9. Whoops. Ah, well, what's another mile?

I arrived home from my run to find three missed calls, two voice mails and one text message from Shawna informing me that she was worried. Also, I had a missed call from my sister and another friend. Curious, I called Shawna. Turns out that if she doesn't hear from me all day and is unable to reach me she begins to think I'm lying dead in a ditch. Very good to know!

A person would think that Shawna would assume that I was running, seeing as how that's all I do lately, but it gets dark a lot earlier than I anticipated. Also, I ran an extra mile without realizing. So there is poor Shawna, unable to find me, looking outside at the dark night, and thinking I'm dead. Clearly, the next step was to involve my sister and other friends via Twitter and Facebook. (Don't worry, I've informed everyone I'm still alive)

I, meanwhile, was running along thinking about life--running really is cheaper than therapy. I was also considering the delicious burrito I planned to make for dinner. For your enjoyment, here is the recipe for Leslie's Post-Run Burrito of Awesomeness:

Cook:
Ground turkey
a little taco seasoning
corn
black beans
peppers

Mix with:
salsa
avocado
lettuce
cabbage
tomatoes

Wrap in:
whole wheat tortilla

Then eat. Oh yeah. Kickass burrito.

So, yes, I survived my run. I have promised to inform Shawna before leaving for a run tomorrow and again upon my arrival home. I feel so loved. And full of delicious burrito.

You've died of dysentary. Sucks to be you.

Two weeks ago I signed up for the annual walk-a-thon that my place of employment urges staff members to participate in. We are given pedometers, 63 days, and the goal of 630,000 steps by the end of of our adventure. That's an average of 10,000 steps daily which is recommended for everyone. AND, if all or most staff participates our overall goal for work is that we will walk a combined total of 4 million steps, equal to the length of the Oregon Trail. Something awesome and slightly ridiculous? Reading counts towards 1,500 steps per hour. Why exercise when I can just read about fitness? Maybe that's why I like reading blogs so much.

Day 16: 169,807 steps. I revel in mediocrity.

Taco Soup.

Shawna and I have decided to post a blog per day for the month of September again. She asked me earlier today what my post was going to be about, and I replied, "Taco soup." Why, you ask? I have no idea. Seriously though, taco soup is freaking awesome.

So speaking on that topic, I had taco soup for lunch today. My coworker made a batch of it, I brought a salad, and we shared. It was lovely. I'm going to miss my coworkers when I move to my new job as of October 1. I've only been at this job about five months, six by the time I transfer, but it's weird how settled in I feel already. This has quite possibly been the strangest year of my life, full of ups and downs and twists I never saw coming--I have to say its exhausting. I'm really going to need a nap by the time I turn 25 in a few weeks. I feel much, much older than that sometimes.

Since this is my last month to rock the age of 24, I have several plans for it:
1. I will rock the marathon training. Watch me. I'll finish that bitch.
2. I will quite possibly allow Jillian Michaels to shred me for 30 days. She did today, and it hurt a little.
3. I will find somewhere in the community to volunteer, as I think giving back in some way will definitely improve my current mental state. Also, bonus karma points.
4. I will eat taco soup again, as it is tasty.

Those are my resolutions for the month. Happy September! Now go eat some taco soup.