Adventures at the Running Store

I am afraid of hardcore running people. There is absolutely no reason for this, as I've never had a hardcore running person be anything other than perfectly pleasant to me. At the 10k I ran last month I spoke with a bunch of people who were super friendly and encouraging, and that tends to be the norm. I think its leftover gym class anxiety to think that the really in shape people will mock me. Until yesterday, I had never actually invested in good quality running shoes (let the scolding begin, since I've been running for about a year already).

Luckily I have Shawna to go investigate such places with me! I feel very silly for thinking the running people would look down on me for being a new runner. For one, they like to make money and I was giving them some of mine. Also, most retail people tend to strive towards positive customer service, right? So as we were walking in I was thinking to myself, "This was stupid, you should have bought shoes before. This is not like being 14 and having the mean volleyball team girls laugh at you for sucking at anything athletic. Also, you are hardcore."

So we walk into the running store and are faced with a huge wall of shoes. A guy came over and asked if we needed help (obviously) and I replied that yes, I needed running shoes, and had no idea what I needed or should be looking for. So he had me slip off my shoes and parade up and down the store a few times with my pant legs rolled up so he could see how I walked. Also, I learned that sarcasm is not appropriate in such situations: I told him I had been running with a pair of bargain clearance shoes and they were causing me pain and suffering. This made Running Store Guy say, "What kind of pain and suffering? Are there any sports injuries we should be looking out for?" Um, no, Running Store Guy, I was just being dramatic and my shoes suck.

The (very pleasant) Running Store Guy measured my feet on a fancy foot measuring thing and brought out two pairs of shoes for me to try. He told me I have very normal feet, which is promising, cause I figure at least part of me should act normally, right? Both pairs of shoes were pretty glorious, and only had a price difference of $5, so I tried both on and walked around the store a couple times. Shawna weighed in on which pair was cutest (always important) and then Running Store Guy told me I could test them out on the treadmill in their store!

What? A treadmill? At the time I had on one of each shoe (it was a very good look for me) and Shawna tried to get me to run like that, but I thought that might lead to me falling on my face. Really, this experience could have led to that anyhow because this was actually my first time on a treadmill... EVER.

I started out running outside and have kept on running outside. It's free! I am very white trash and so free is always good. But I didn't want to buy a pair of really expensive shoes without trying them out. (They were actually $95, which is pretty moderately priced, but still a large chunk of change for someone who has been running in $15 shoes. Still, I expected to spend that much so that's cool). So over to the treadmill I went.

Sadly, I can't even lie when I tell you that my logic of how to act on a treadmill comes from watching The Biggest Loser. You know how they straddle it and stand on the unmoving part while talking to Jillian about their feelings? (Love her. She has fabulous hair, too.) So of course I straddle the treadmill and say, "Um... Shawna come help me work this." Conveniently, Running Store Guy was there to help me out. He turned it on and had me start walking, and then put me at a slow jog. Now this is the point when things got interesting--I was not wearing the most supportive of bras. My bra size has changed but as I said I'm cheap and am just rolling with what I already have. Also, my pants were too big and I was not wearing a belt. I realize now that this was a mistake because as I was jogging along on the treadmill, I could feel my pants start to go lower... and lower... and lower... and the girls starting to bounce in attempt to dislodge themselves from their cotton prison. You can kind of see the sagging of my pants in the following photo, wherein I look really cool cause Shawna's camera phone made my feet really blurry and it makes it look like I'm oh so fast.



I should mention that Shawna was totally sitting there taking pictures and laughing at me, as any good friend should. Meanwhile I'm running along thinking, "Don't fall down pants, don't fall down. Oh this is going to end so inappropriately!" Now here is the tricky part. How does one stop on a treadmill? I didn't know! On the Biggest Loser they just fall on their face and Jillian yells at them. What was I going to do? My logic was totally skewed cause I was focusing on not making a public appearance with any scandalous body parts. So naturally I decide to just jump off and straddle it by standing on the stationary parts. This worked well, except for the moment when I almost fell on my face. I'm pretty sure no one noticed that part, cause I was busy distracting them by saying something like, "Oh crap, I don't know how to stop!" Running Store Guy came over and said, "Um, you can just hit stop." You know, the big, red button right in front of me? Oh yeah. I'm cool.

Here is a picture of me doing something, and what I think might be Running Store Guy in a blur behind me:



Here is another picture of me, looking concentrated? I am not sure, but I thought I would share it:



Next Shawna and I explored the running gadgetry for awhile (but didn't buy anything else) and then I paid for my awesome shoes and it was done! Not traumatic at all! Well, I did kind of look like a dork on the treadmill, but I figure I can't be the first to have done that. My shoes are really cool, and they make my feet happy, and I am going to try them out by going for a run later!