Um, whatever.

I'm tired of being depressed. I think I'm starting to annoy myself. The couch and I are spending too much time together, and I think our relationship needs a little time and space. I'm all for time with comfy sweatpants, the couch, and a season of "Weeds" (how have I not discovered that show earlier?) but I think I'm starting to get a little ridiculous.

You know how people will tell you, "You won't be given more than you can handle. You were given so much to deal with because you're a strong woman." I want those people to shut the f up, or let me punch them in the face. The events of the past couple months of my life were both devastating and unexpected, and I know I can handle it, but I certainly don't think any of it was necessary.

I had my heart broken. I had some bad doctor's appointments. I suffered a loss and I'm not sure how I should grieve. But I'm still here.

I mentioned to a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile that I had some serious mileage to put on my running shoes, cause that's when I do my best thinking and am able to clear my head. Now I'm realizing maybe that's the problem... I found this activity that I enjoy, that allows me time to myself, and that has helped me get through some tough situations. Now, because of my lung issue earlier in the summer, and because of various (and more recent) medical issues that we won't discuss, that has been taken away from me for a period of time.

But I'm fine now. I have two legs, and two feet, and two healthy lungs. What's stopping me? Currently, nothing. The running shoes and I, we will be reunited. I'll take my time to think, and grieve, and just be present in that moment where my feet are hitting the pavement steadily.

I need to recognize the positive instead of the negative. I have a kickass job, great friends, an awesome family, and a bottle of wine in my fridge. I can bounce back, if I put my mind to it.