Tonight I helped set-up for a baby shower that is going on tomorrow, and it reminded me of this recurring dream that I have sometimes. Actually, it's more like a nightmare.
In these nightmares I have a baby. Ooh, scary, right? These thoughts are probably perpetuated by my idea that I cannot imagine myself as a mother. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a baby, but I don't know if I'd want that baby to have me. Does that make any sense?
In my most recent dream my baby actually turned out to be some creepy little monster, and it was sad because I didn't love her as much as I love my friends' babies. Sad. Maybe I'll always just be Auntie Shawna. There's nothing wrong with that, but I do wish I could be a person who imagines she would be a good mother.
Oh well, I guess it's okay. I love my stinky, squishy babies I don't have to worry about putting through college and laugh when I twirl them around and around.
Friday, March 6, 2009
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1 comment:
Oh man. I often have nightmares about giving birth to twins and there being something horribly wrong with the babies. In one of the dreams they weren't even human babies. They were loins of pork. I had to keep them in the freezer in my parents' laundry room so they wouldn't spoil, and I was forever worrying about power outages because then my "children" might defrost and die.
It's probably a good thing that I don't want kids. I can't imagine that pregnancy would improve those types of dreams!
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