Oh the delicious horror.

McDonald's is bad for you. Yeah, I know. But there are a few things that are so full of magic and drugs that I can't help but love them.

1. Cheeseburger: This is the greatest cheeseburger ever. Yeah, you can order your gourmet frou frou burgers elsewhere, but this is just perfect. Cheese, simple bun, and ketchup that is most likely injected with uppers. Seriously. I could drink McDonald's ketchup, and don't you dare tell me it's like any other ketchup. That's a freaking lie. It's magically delicious.

2. Sausuage Egg McMuffin: Best. Breakfast. Ever. This saved another bridesmaid and myself the morning after a raucous bachelorette party, also being the morning of the wedding. P.S. Do not ever plan these events for consecutive days. Bad idea.

3. Hashbrowns: I could take or leave the fries, but this is where the deep-fried potato goodness is at.

It really is a good thing I don't have a McDonald's in my town or I would so be there tomorrow. Mmmm... Drug ketchup.

Oh, bother.

I just drank a diet soda.

I always fail at Lent. Maybe next year...

Really, I am going to give up diet soda! It's just that its filled with crack and other addictive substances, I'm pretty sure. Perhaps I just lack sufficient will power. The funny thing is that I called Shawna to tell her I was wearing actual pants yesterday, and told her I hadn't had any diet soda and felt oh so accomplished? Pants and no diet soda, all in one day! And before I knew it that day became today and here we are.

Let's start this "no diet soda" thing again, shall we?

You know what's annoying?

Spending two hours on Target's website because you want to buy a present for a baby shower.

And then realizing that, yeah, you want to add things to your cart so you can spend $50 and get free shipping. But wait! The baby's gift doesn't count towards the $50 so you need to spend even more money. And you realize you really would have been better off if you just went to the store and bought the gift there in the first place. But you've already wasted so much time online that it would hurt your pride to back down now.

That is how my coveted green jacket, black dress, stripey purple scarf, and a $2.50 purse came to be my future possessions. This was a very exhausting and purse-lightening ordeal.

Sweatpants

...are awesome. I should probably be ashamed of how often I've worn them lately.

I had a moment of worry yesterday cause I remember reading some random weight loss tip about how a person should avoid wearing stretchy things like sweatpants too often cause they don't tell you if you've packed on a few pounds. So I weighed myself, and I haven't. My sweatpants and I are free to live a life of love, affection, and comfyness.

Happy 77th birthday, Johnny.

You're sassy and full of piss and vinegar.

I like it.
Awesome expression, bt-dub.

Lent

Sometimes I like to give something up for Lent, even though I'm not religious, just cause everyone else is and I like to feel included. Also, it's intriguing to try to give something up for that long. I get the meaning behind it and such, but really I'm just a sucker for punishment.

Here are the things I should try to give up this year:

1. Diet soda.

2. Stupid teenage novels about vampires (too late, I already finished them)

3. Chocolate (ha!)

4. Sweatpants (unemployment provides way too many reasons to not wear real pants)

Here is what I probably will give up for Lent this year:

1. Diet soda... for about a week.

Roll over, Beethoven.

This is probably the best $4 I have ever spent at a thrift shop!  A mini Beethoven bust!  I totally passed over Chopin and some other composer dude for Bitty B.  My love for him may be slightly inappropriate.  Just saying.

I'm going to take him for a picnic in the spring.

Please pardon the horrible phone picture.

An "aha!" moment...

I really thought I was losing my mind for a few days. Like, lock me in a cell, don't give me sharp objects, going to be friends with Winona Ryder sort of crazy. Turns out that lack of sleep just seriously messes with your brain.

I must have looked like I felt on Monday, cause my father gave me a sleeping pill and ordered me to take it. Eight full hours of sleep later, I felt much more sane. Aha!

Last night I tried to go it alone and was back to nightmares and restlessness, but it was better than before, at least. I'm hoping that soon I'll be able to sleep like normal again.

One weird dream I had last night consisted of me running a half marathon... how is it fair that I worry about training while I'm freaking sleeping?!?!?! Not okay.

So, I guess I'm really really stupid.

After warning all of you yesterday on the perils of the "Tropical Torture," I decided to mix up another one today and replace the blueberries with a banana. Bad idea. I spent all of work today suffering from stomach cramping and heartburn. Nice. It is official: pineapple + kiwi = terrible terrible pain.

Also, today I ate my third batch of chicken fried rice made in two days. I feel very ill from all of my eating choices as of late.

Did any of you watch The Biggest Loser tonight and witness Bob's emotional soul-baring moment? What about that background music? Anyone else want to laugh at the horrifying dramatics? Me too.

This is what my life has come to.

I have just read the entire "Twilight" saga (all four books) in essentially four days.

I feel as though I should be more embarrassed by this than I truly am.

I may think I have problems, but at least I'm not a tortured, adolescent vampire, right?