Family ties

I had been looking forward to Thanksgiving because it involves family time, pie, and a break from my sometimes hectic job. The break from work was great, the pie was glorious, and 99 percent of the family time was lovely.

The other one percent left me saying, "I will CUT that bitch!" My family Thanksgiving was not without adventure. This is a long, rambling tirade...so be warned.

Back in the day my family used to celebrate Thanksgiving with my father's side of the familyb and it involved renting an entire church in order to have enough room for everyone. I didn't realize till much later in life that it isn't typical to have over 50 first cousins. Later my parents moved us across the state and currently our Thanksgiving typically involves our immediate family (minus my older sister in England) along with my fake uncle (a friend of my father's from work who we've adopted) and my mother's older sister along with her family--my cousin and her boyfriend, their two kids, and my aunt's new husband. Sometimes there is a random person mixed in as well because my mom likes to take in strays, but this year it was limited to our regular crew.

My younger sister and I were seated at the table playing a card game when everyone arrived partly because my stupid cold led to me being banished from the kitchen. She was winning, and I was pretending I was winning. Here is what went down:

Uncle: *Something about how much weight I've lost, blah blah blah, making me feel really uncomfortable by yelling this out in front of everyone*
Aunt: *comes into the room*
Uncle: Blah blah blah about me losing weight, then adds that my sister looks great too (cause she does) and says, "They're both losing weight!"
Aunt: *looks at both of us* Well, Leslie is.
Me: *shocked into silence and considering cutting people*

I don't even know what to say about this, really. My aunt went on to discuss my NINE-YEAR-OLD cousin's weight with her. I should mention that my aunt is essentially a crazy biotch. Also, she's far more overweight than anyone in my family has ever been. Recently she found herself without a home and ended up living with my parents for several months wherein she made my mom feel like crap about herself all the time and drove both my parents insane. My mother is still a little nutty because of it and I'm always yelling at her to not let my aunt's insanity affect her so much. Also, I enjoy her husband's company far more than I've ever enjoyed hers and I only met the guy a few months ago. But come on, is it really that difficult to deliver a compliment without it being completely backhanded and insulting someone else? For my aunt, yes. ..because she sucks at life.

I should also mention that my younger sister is one of my favorite people ever. I'm very close to both of my sisters and also incredibly protective of both of them. And of course, this blow from my aunt had to come at a time when my sister had a crappy week where stupid people made some very mean comments about her and so her self-esteem was already suffering. The thing is, it shouldn't be suffering at all! She's beautiful, and sweet, and funny, and smart, and she is not fat. She has lost weight recently, also, and regardless she is perfectly healthy and takes care of herself. Also, she's one of those super nice people who spends her spare time volunteering at a food bank and such. I spend my spare time napping and drinking beer. To sum it up, my sister is awesome.

Not only did my aunt deliver a lovely dose of bitch to my sister promptly upon her arrival, but she did not say anything else to her or about her the entire afternoon. My sister was left in tears, as any sane person would be. Sidenote: my aunt and cousin also criticized a bunch of the food that my mom had spent days preparing and so my mother wasn't in the best of mindsets either. Why do families suck so much sometimes? As a result of all of this, next year we have already made alternate plans that don't involve extended family.

The thing is, I should have said something. Usually I don't realize that I should be mad about something until way later, but in this case I was instantly angry. But I didn't say a word; instead I changed the subject and privately told my sister that my aunt is a crack ho who deserves to be hit by a car. Also, later I poured her many drinks and cheered her up. But since then I have been kicking myself for not saying something. At the time I wasn't sure if it would make my sister uncomfortable or upset my mom by creating conflict, but my aunt doesn't deserve to get away with crap like that. Happy f-ing Thanksgiving to us--now I feel guilty for having lost weight and creating the situation in the first place, my sister feels horrible, and my aunt probably didn't even think twice about it. She is a ridiculous bitch and I strongly dislike her, but sadly I still love her at least a little because she is family and I am supposed to.

I hope my sister realizes how awesome she is and that she shouldn't pay any attention to my aunt. I hope I realize that I shouldn't let anyone make me feel guilty for having accomplished something, and that I should stick up for myself and others when something like this happens. And I hope my mother realizes that even though her sister is a crazy ho it doesn't mean that she is anything like her.

And most of all, I hope my sisters both know that the thing I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving is that I have them, and that I am especially glad that I will never have reason to threaten to cut them for being bitches. Unlike my mother, I am so fortunate to have sisters that I can count on for anything and that I consider my best friends.

Also, if you think I am too cool to make the following photo my Christmas card photo, you would be wrong... I have no shame. Except how do I get rid of my dog's creepy zombie eyes if the red eye remover doesn't work?