Caution: scandalous blog ahead.

Shawna and I had this bright idea recently: at home bikini waxing. Brilliant, right?

Wrong. SO WRONG.

Do not read this if you are faint of heart, or at all opposed to the use of the word "vagina" multiple times. Let me begin this by saying that I am not opposed to waxing--I wax my own eyebrows, and have no problems. Eyebrows and vaginas, it would appear, are incredibly different things.

So, we bought some wax, Shawna took a shot of rum, and there we were. Just us, the wax, and our courage. Shawna was in the bathroom and I was in my bedroom, which are conveniently located right next to each other. I'm sure the neighbor really appreciated our yells of, "OH MY GOD, SHAWNA, WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?" through her wall.

I decided to be brave and go first. Clearly, this was the wrong plan. Why didn't I learn from Shawna's mistakes?!?!?!?

The first strip wasn't as bad as I was expecting. And then came the second strip. And the third. And finally I noticed blood coming forth, and I nearly cried.

At one point I had some stuck on there that wouldn't come off, and was yelling, "Shawna, my vagina looks like a patch work quilt! What do I do?" I've come to an important conclusion as a result of this experience: my cooch does not want to be waxed. It is not in favor.

I gave up much earlier than Shawna, patchwork vag and all, and heard her in the bathroom saying, "Oh dear. Oh damn." Next thing I know, she's telling me that she somehow has wax on her foot, and needs cheeseburger.

Vagina wax = 1 Shawna and Leslie = 0

Plus note: the wax we bought makes excellent eyebrow wax. Just don't get it anywhere near your hoo-hah.