On river floating and dead bodies.

Hello, 2012!

It is our first post of the year, and it only took four months to get it published.  Not bad at all, wouldn't you say?

Well, the sun is shining (except when it's snowing) and the birds are chirping (except when those birds are geese and hissing evilly) here in Central Oregon!  Boy howdy, have I been waiting for sweet summer to come my way, and I can certainly smell the scent of its approach in the air.

Leslie and I decided to celebrate the warm weather last weekend by going on a river float!  You don't know this about me, but EVERY TIME we float I am absolutely sure there are dead bodies lurking beneath the dark waters, and I like to make these thoughts known to my companions.

Well, as we were floating last weekend, what do we see ahead of us but police officers on the bank, divers in the water, and nosy neighbors watching from a bridge...  Yes, we were those jerks wearing hot pink sunglasses and bathing suits floating through a crime scene.  We watched the news an hour later and apparently they were pulling a body from the water at that very time that we floated by, so that's pretty much one of my worst fears coming true.

In other news, I twisted my ankle two weeks ago and I am on a diet.  The two events are not related... or are they?  I'm an idiot and can't walk properly, and so I've been punished with a never-ending swollen ankle.  I am on a calorie counting adventure, and it's working out well so far!  But the swollen ankle is hindering my plan of daily bike rides with my pal, Leslie, so I hope to get that back on track ASAP.  I want to look like a Greek goddess by the time my ten year high school reunion rolls around in July, and I think that request is reasonable.

I missed you, Blog.

Hello, Dear Reader. It is I, Shawna, your long lost writer of ridiculous and forgettable musings. I've missed you. Did you miss me, too? So, looking back at the archives, it seems I've been away from this blogging business for almost 4 months now. 4 months! Summer is almost over and I missed telling you about it, so I'm sorry.

Here is what I did this Summer:

1. Went to New York with my pal, Anne! Very awesome. I'll have to do a recap of this trip with photos, as it may have been one of the biggest adventures of my life. The highlight: 1 beer and 2 hot dogs for $4. Yes, awesome.


2. Went to the lake and floated with Leslie and others on my Island Oasis. The Oasis is my gift to the world, and two friends' birthday gift to me. It is most likely bigger than your hopes and dreams and will house a variety of beers in its meshy depths.


3. Played with babies... And kissed them and hugged them and told them that I'm their favorite auntie no matter what our lack of blood relation has to say about it.

4. Got promoted at my job. Twice. Yeah, no big deal.

Is it sad that I'm now browsing Facebook photo albums to jog my memory as to what I've been up to these past few months?

5. Oh oh! I went to a "Girls' Retreat" with my best friends that I've known forever, and we stayed out in the wilds of Central Oregon, drinking beer, splashing about in a kiddie pool, and driving golf carts around like maniacs. It was one heck of a time. Apparently this is going to be an annual event now, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. Eventually we are going to work our way up to a magical land called Greece, but that's several years of less classy (but nevertheless awesome) trips from now.


6. Attended a Michael Jackson memorial dance party with Leslie and others where we moonwalked our way through grief.

7. Tricked a friend into drinking something really disgusting. I don't know if I should elaborate, but her reaction upon knowledge of what we gave her was hilarious and AWESOME.

8. WENT TO THE COUNTY FAIR. I love the fair. It was glorious and I drank beer and looked at pigs and listened to Lady Antebellum (for free!) and rode on the spinny carousel ride which is my absolute favorite thing ever. Leslie and I also saw the lead singer from Lady Antebellum ordering nachos after the concert, but we decided against pestering her for a photo. But still it would have been pretty cool if she went on the spinny carousel with us.

And there was more more more, but I absolutely can't think straight to write when I'm so sleepy. Bye world. Nice talking to you again!